As I take time to reflect on the Haley Fagan and Auburn players' situation, my heart has become more and more broken. I have looked at this from a former collegiate athlete's perspective, a coach's perspective, and a spectator's perspective, but I have failed to look at it from the perspective of someone who is supposed to be faithfully pursuing the Lord. My first initial reaction was " SERIOUSLY" when I read about the Marajuana and drug charges that these three Division 1 NCAA athletes were facing. The former athlete and coach in me immediately thought about well-being of the team and the selfish decisions that would negatively impact Auburn's softball team and possibly even the entire athletic program. The decision that one person makes DOES impact the entire team. When you really love your team and your school, you would do absolutely anything to make sure that the chemistry of the team and the reputation of the school is not harmed in any way. Being a part of a team is all about integrity, honesty, self-discipline, honor, and sacrifice. I became a little angry when I thought back to the encounter that Haley Fagan had with the Florida coach, Tim Walton, about a month ago. While the nation was watching Fagan for that encounter, she messed up even worse. " She had it coming" was sadly my first reaction when I read about the news. I read posts and heard comments that sounded like "what goes around comes back around" or "she deserves it." While I do not agree with what these athletes did, and I do believe that they should face every consequence of their actions, the Holy Spirit began to convict me of the thoughts and comments I made and had about Haley Fagan. This led me to put my Jesus glasses on. I've always been curious about athletes playing at the Division 1 NCAA level and professional athletes and their faith. After Haley's encounter with the Florida coach I looked up her Twitter account. I wanted to try to see if I could pick up on her character and what kind of person she actually was. I was caught off guard as I read her bio on her account which says, "Proverbs 4:23". This verse reads, "Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life." If you look at a picture of Haley's left forearm you can see a tattoo that reads "Audience of One." The "Audience of One" being God. If you look at her Instagram bio it says, "Jesus has my heart." Finally, if you look at her most recent tweets you would see that on Good Friday she posted, "He was crushed for our sins. The punishment that brought us peace was upon Him. And by His wounds we are healed!" The one tweet that hit me the hardest was posted on Easter Sunday and it said, "auburn softball fans please wear white today.... we will be wearing all white uni for Jesus! #ResurrectionSunday." In all honesty, my first thought was "How are you going to post all these things about Jesus, yet still blow it 4 days after Easter? People are looking at you as a Christian and they are going to see you messing up and not doing what is good, pure, holy, and Christ glorifying." Then Holy Spirit overwhelmed me with conviction again when I looked closer at Fagan's mug shot. I saw a girl who is my age who messed up. I saw tears, fear, regret, and sadness. I saw a broken human being, just like me, who messes up, just like me. I saw brokenness in a broken person, who I am confident, truly does love the Lord. She just happened to stray away and stumble. I was reminded of why I so badly want to go into coaching, and I was reminded why I feel called to go into the broken places. I want to coach in broken places because of the broken people that I am bound to meet. I want to walk into that brokenness and use my brokenness to relate and empathize. I want Jesus to be able to shine through my brokenness to those who do not know Him and to those know Him, but have strayed away for a moment. I've dedicated the past five year of life to studying, learning, and being shaped into a coach who will coach broken people. I'm in this for the Haley Fagans'. Jesus is in this for the Haley Fagans'. Jesus in this for me. Jesus is in this for you. The one thing we all have in common is that we are broken and we are in need of of the grace and mercy that only Jesus gives. My prayer for Haley Fagan and for any other athletes who finds themselves in these types of ordeals is this: That God will keep their eyes off of the negative comments and ugly words from those who do not even know them. I pray that they point their eyes toward Him and keep them their. I pray that they do not carry their past mistakes around with them, but instead they use it to grow stronger in their faith and to impact those around them someday. I pray that they remember that they are loved by the King of Kings and the giver of chance after chance. I pray that their identity is placed in Him always, and that they remember as Haley said on Good Friday, it is "by His wounds we are healed!." I pray they remember that they truly are living for an audience of One and that is the only audience who will fill them with hope, joy, peace, and comfort, even in the hardest of times.
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AuthorJust a flawed, broken human being faithfully trying to serve a perfect Savior. Archives
April 2020
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