I have eaten a crepe under the lit up Eiffel Tower. I have walked the streets of Belgium. I have explored the the many parts of Amsterdam (some I wish I hadn't.) I have watched the Pacific Ocean roll over the sand onto my feet while the sun has set. I have held the hand of the man I love at Disneyland on a December night. I have eaten alligator in the swamps of Louisiana. I have looked in awe at the beauty of Washington state and walked through the touristy spots of Seattle. And to top it off, in the next few hours, I will land in Cuba and get to share the gift of Jesus with the platform of softball with the women and children of this country. I have done more than some people will do in a lifetime, but I have done only a small fragment of what many people have done in their lifetime. I am blessed, but I am cursed. I am happy, yet I am guilty. I wish I could have taken people with me to each of the places I have visited. I wish I could have taken my mom to Belgium where she could have been a train ride away from Germany. I wish my Dad could have seen me play softball in Louisiana. I wish my sister could have experienced Disneyland with me. Many times I feel guilty that I get to do things that others will never even get the chance to experience. And I get to do these things at the expense of others, at the expense of those who don't get to experience the things which I have. But none of these experiences matter when compared to eternity. I never found joy in the sights I have seen and the things I have experienced. To be honest the time I felt the most joy in my life was when I was a freshman in High School lying on rock bottom, searching for something to fulfill my longing for love and hope in order to fight on to the next day. I reached out my hand to my Savior and gasped my first breath of fresh air. I found joy in that moment because I found Jesus. Jesus is my joy. Jesus is your joy. I found joy in the tiny chapel in the middle of nowhere Texas. I didn't find it at the beach, on the streets of Belgium, I didn't even find it on the "Happiest Place on Earth." I found it when I met Jesus. And as I continue to grow and go visit more places and do more things, this remains true. The first few months of my move to California were rather dark, lonely, and scary. But as I grew more dependent on God, I began to experience the same joy I did a few years before. Only this time, I was taking my 20 minute walk to school (since my car did not make the trip to California). In those 20 minute walks I began to thank God for what He has given me, and when you become thankful it is easy to find renewed strength and joy in Jesus Christ. The God who is the God of small town Texas is the same God of Paris. The God who is the God of Beverly Hills is also the same God who is the God of impoverished third world countries. God is the same no matter where one goes. God is the same rather He calls you across seas or you never move from the small-town which you have lived your whole life in. We could dream about going to places we may never get the opportunity to go to or like me, we can sit here and feel guilty about all the things we have been given the chance to do. But dreams have the ability to hold us back, as does guilt. We can miss the very joy of the moment while longing for somewhere we're not or wallowing in our guilt. We can miss the opportunity to love someone who needs it. We can miss the opportunity to somehow find God in a tumbleweed rolling across a dirt road (as silly as it sounds). We can miss time with those we love. The things which we miss when we are wishing for something else are the most important things that God has given us. What really is better? Traveling the world and missing the opportunity to have deep relationships with those around you, or staying in the same town which gives you the opportunity to invest in those around you year after year after year? Would you rather travel the world and see every great wonder of the world? Or would you rather stand in front of the Creator of the world and hear Him say, "Look at all these people which you spoke My name to. Look at all these people you spent the time to love and invest in. Well done my good and faithful servant." Traveling is fun, don't get me wrong. I like it a lot. But it isn't worth feeling guilty over or longing for in an unhealthy way. I know some person in a third world country feels more joy than I ever will and they have never set foot in another country. That same person in that third world country has probably impacted more lives and loved more people than I could ever even imagine. It is not about traveling, money, name-brand clothes, etc. It's about Jesus. So my challenge to you (myself included) is to be present. Be present in His presence. Be still and stop wanting and worrying and feeling guilty and just be His. This life is only a blink compared to Eternity with the Maker. Long for Heaven, long for His presence and that will be your ultimate traveling experience. You don't have to feel guilty. I don't have to feel guilty. You don't have to long for things of this world and neither do I. Live in the now and love without boundaries.
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AuthorJust a flawed, broken human being faithfully trying to serve a perfect Savior. Archives
April 2020
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